Okay, time to update my blog again. It's getting harder and harder to update this thing with all the work I have piled up on me, along with preparations for both Yule AND Christmas. Ahem... I have: English work, Literature work, vocal work, preparations for school masses and the Christmas concert tomorrow, philosophy work, maintaining my roleplaying site, maintaining the forum I moderate on neoseeker, preparing a ritual for Yule, preparing the house and decorating for Christmas, wrapping gifts, and preparing a severing spell to rid myself of this weird psychic connection to a friend of mine.



Yup, yup I sure am busy and it's beginning to take a toll. I'm always tired even when I get a good night's sleep, I constantly have knots of anxiety in my stomach and I'm always disgruntled and stressed out which means I tend to snap and freak out on people for the slightest reason. My friend Ashley told me I looked cute and I freaked out on her and told her I was going to rip her tongue out with a pair of pliers if she said that again. I know... pretty bad, but in my defense, I'm SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD! I SHOULDN'T BE "CUTE"! Maybe it's because my ex used to say that to me all the time. In any case, I hate it when people call me cute.



Ghuuuhhh!!!! All this stuff I have to do is driving me up the wall! I'm barely making due dates here and if more crap keeps getting piled on me, I won't be able to keep it up anymore. I've got a philosophy essay on the existence of Deity due on Monday that Mr. Perron hasn't explained in detail to us, I have to hand in my Literature ISP that's worth 15% of my final grade next week, I'm performing at my school's Christmas concert tomorrow night and I'm going to look like a complete ass in front of everyone because my vocal class is full of deadbeats who are going nowhere in life and don't give a rat's ass about any of this, I've still got play rehearsals two times a week for two hours after school where I do nothing but sit in a corner and wish I was home because I have a stupid role that says one line and is only in two scenes, it's absolutely ridiculous.



My friend Justin keeps trying to calm me down, but it never seems to work. T. J doesn't help at all. He doesn't care if I start failing stuff even though I'm banking my entire career upon going to university next year, he doesn't care that I'm stressed out all the time, he doesn't care that I have shit way up over my head to deal with, he doesn't care that he's started completely ignoring me in order to hang out with these two girls he likes but can't decide between. I mean, if he wants to hang out with them, that's fine but you don't just completely stop spending time with your best friend for two girls you have a crush on and probably won't last if he gets in a relationship with either of them. One of them's already his ex-girlfriend. What makes him think it'll work out the second time around? The whole thing is just stupid if you ask me. He's already cancelled D&D with me two weeks in a row and the only time he talks to me is when we're in vocal class together.



I'm getting so sick of all this crap. I'm so tempted just to throw in the towel and say "I'm done! I can't do this anymore!", but of course, I can't. One tiny slip up in my school work and it could cost me my chance to get into university. My average is already only a 91%, I can't afford to have it sink any lower than that and with that incredibly unfair 66% Mr. Perron gave me on my epistemology unit test, I have to work my ass off in order to bump it back up. It was so unfair! I studied and studied for that test and I deserved AT LEAST an 80% but no... I ended up with a 66%. I'm so pissed off! This complete idiot in my class got over an 80% on that test and that was because she CHEATED THE ENTIRE TIME! I can't afford to cheat. If I got caught, it'd be a suspension and an automatic 0%, and if I have either of those anywhere on my record, bye bye university. So the fact that I'm honest and had integrity is what screwed me over in the end.



I can't even begin to start counting the amount of bad things that have happened to me since school started this year. I swear, I'll just be happy to make it into university alive and well in one piece.

Well, just as the title says, the holidays are here and wow, it has been quite some time since I last posted in my blog. Don't blame me for it, though! Blame school and all the essays, projects and papers that need to be written, polished and handed in. It's not easy keeping up a 91% average, you know! Anyway, way too much has been happening to give a detailed account of everything, but I will give a brief overview of the important stuff.

All of my projects and essays are getting finished and handed in on time. Yay for me doing everything at the last minute and still getting 90's on it all! My parents are astounded and can't figure out how I manage it. Either I have horseshoes up my ass or I'm just that pro... I prefer to believe the latter of these two explanations, but I'm sure that's not it.

I just recently found this great word game that donates to charity and it's FREE! It's called Free Rice and it's a game that improves your vocabulary. For every question you get right, the site donates twenty grains of rice to starving people in third-world countries. It's the only game we're actually allowed to play on the school computers. I warn you, though. It's extremely challenging. The head of our English department even got stuck on a few of the questions. It certainly does improve your vocabulary, though. If you want to improve your vocabulary and end world hunger, follow this link:

http://www.freerice.com/

Now... as for what is going on in Rosethorn's life recently, not much beides school. I'm a little disappointed that T. J can't do D&D this week because he has "something to do". I'm kind of suspicious because he usually tells me outright what he has to do if it involves cancelling something with me. I don't care if he wants to hang out with a girl he likes or if he's working or something like that, but if it has anything to do with my ex, I'll freak out! I know he's friends with him and all, but ditching me and cancelling previously made plans to do something with him will not only piss me off beyond belief, but hurt me as well. I'm suspicious that that's what it is, because as I said, T. J usually tells me why he needs to cancel plans with me with no problems, but he was so vague this time. He knows me well enough to know that it'll hurt my feelings if he ditches me for Brad (my ex) so he probably wouldn't want me to know. Still, if that's the case (it might not be, and I might just be jumping to conclusions) I'll be soooooo angry with him. Assuming I'm right, he's my best friend and he's lying to me, cancelling plans with me in order to hang out with someone who emotionally abused me to the point where I didn't want to wake up and get out of bed in the morning, plus he knows that it's wrong and hurtful to me and he's doing it anyway. If it involves schoolwork with Brad, I don't care but I'm pretty sure they don't have any classes together. Anyway, if it turns out my suspicions are right, I'll let you know what happens afterward.

I was also very upset that I couldn't go to semi formal or prom this year, but then things brightened up for me. At first, T. J wasn't going to semi because he needed to save money for prom which meant that I couldn't go either even though I wanted to and went since grade nine, because I wouldn't have anyone to go with. Even though T. J's going to prom, either he'll have a date or he'll ditch me to hang out with Brad and all the rest of his loser friends, leaving me by myself on prom which would just be depressing. Then I was talking to my other best friend, Marilyn, and she told me that she was going to go to both and as far as she knew, she wouldn't have a date for either event so we could both go and hang out! I was so happy and I'm buying my ticket on Monday at school. Yay, one bad thing resolved with a happy ending!

Anyway, on an even happier note, I went to my town's Christmas Parade with Joanna and Marilyn last night. It was so much fun and we got candy cane hot chocolates at Tim Hortons. Best hot chocolate EVER! We stopped at the libray and I took out a stack of books. I'm already almst finished one of them, even though it's like 300 pages. T. J said he'd be there but he wasn't so I'm going to have to slap him on Monday after we record our vocal class' Christmas CD for a fundraiser at this year's Christmas Concert. He might refuse to sing if I slap him before we record. Oh, and we saw a REAL camel walking beside some miniature reindeer, even though it was like -30* celcius and snow everywhere. When I told my aunt's boyfriend afterwards, he started laughing and said "That poor camel's probably like 'where the hell am I... and what the hell are you?'" It was so funny! Then we saw a calf on the dairy tractor float and it was sooo cute! One of my favourites was a big tractor strung with Christmas lights and on the back it had a big sign that said "Rudolph the Red-Nosed John Deere"! The sign was actually printed in ink and laminated too! It was so cool! (Wow, I just realized that I sound like such a hick).

Anyway, enough for today. I have limited time on the computer and other stuff to do.